end of study week!

assalamualaikum diari hijau saya :)

alhamdulillah. Saya sudah berada di UPM kembali pada 28hb Dec untuk menyambung kembali perjuangan ilmu. Dan alhamdulillah juga, hati saya kembali tenang. Dengan segala apa yang berlaku, lambakan kerja dan pembentangan. Tak kurang juga laporan-laporan makmal yang perlu diselesaikan dan ujian 2 sebagai tambahan peratus wajib. Dan ditambah pula dengan kehilangan seorang kawan baik. al-fatihah buat arwah asyraf aminuddin. *al-fatihah*

Ya. Sejak arwah meninggalkan dunia ini, segala apa yang saya buat, sama ada saya berjalan, ketawa, berbual dengan rakan-rakan, pastinya saya akan teringat arwah.Bayang-bayang arwah bagai bermain-main di hujung mata saya. Lagikan pula kalau saya termenung. Jika berbual bersama dengan rakan-rakan dan tetiba cerita mengenai arwah dibangkitkan, saya berasa saya ok dan tenang dihadapan mereka. Mereka juga sering bertanya, ''aishah , ok tak ?'' dan saya hanya menjawab ok. air mata saya sukar untuk keluar apabila saya berada di depan mereka. Tetapi, apabila saya berseorangan, pasti air mata itu mengalir dengan mudahnya. Perkara ini berlanjutan selama dua minggu (iaitu pada minggu ke 13-minggu arwah pergi- dan 14 mengikut kalendar UPM). Sehinggalah tiba waktu study week, saya nekad, saya tidak boleh lama di UPM. Hati saya sesak sangat berada di sini. Saya nekad meninggalkan semua urusan di sini. Saya terpaksa. Saya balik ke rumah, saya luahkan semuanya pada ummi dan ayah saya. Semuanya. Tentang saya tidak boleh belajar dan juga perihal saya menangis pada malam hari. Saya tunjukkan gambar-gambar arwah kawan baik saya itu pada ummi dan ayah. Semuanya saya ceritakan  agar segala yang terbuku di hati saya pergi bersama perkataan-perkataan yang keluar itu.

.... Dan alhamdulillah, selepas itu, saya mampu untuk menyebut mengenai arwah tanpa menangis pada malam harinya. Hati saya semakin tenang dan tabah. Saya tahu, saya hanyalah kawan arwah.

Rindu saya ini hanyalah rindu sebagai kawan. Sebagai sahabat seperjuangan. Sahabat berkongsi impian dan cita-cita kami untuk berbakti kepada ummat dengan bidang pengajian kami. Sahabat yang menyokong impian saya untuk mendirikan rumah di Kelantan. Sahabat yang melayan saya seperti kakaknya.  Sahabat  berkongsi permasalahan agama. Sahabat berkongsi angan dan impian arwah untuk mendirikan masjid bersama seorang insan yang disayanginya. Dan Sahabat yang berkongsi gurau dan senda sahaja. Rindu saya ini tidak boleh dibandingkan dengan rindunya ahli keluarga, ummi abah arwah padanya. Rindunya abang-abang dan adik arwah padanya. Dan rindunya kawan-kawan baik arwah yang lain padanya. Rindu saya hanyalah rindu yang membuatkan saya merasakan dekatnya kematian ini dengan saya.

.. Dan apa yang lebih membuatkan saya terkesan dengan pemergiannya ialah kerana arwah adalah satu-satunya sahabat lelaki saya di sini yang berani menegur saya dan mengusik saya. Saya jenis kurang berkomunikasi dengan sahabat lelaki yang lain di sini. Saya sempat mengenali arwah sepanjang 2 kali Ramadhan. Dan pada Ramadhan pertama perkenalan kami iaitu pada tahun 2011, saya mengingatkan arwah mengenai 10 malam terakhir. Dan Ramadhan tahun ini, arwah asyraf yang mengingatkan saya mengenai 10 malam terakhir itu sambil tersenyum seolah-olah mengimbas kembali Ramadhan pertama perkenalan kami iaitu sebulan sebelum kami masuk UPM. Dan ianya betul-betul Ramadhan yang terakhir untuknya juga. Ya Allah. Betapa saya amat mengingati saat-saat itu.

..Ya Allah, cucurilah rahmat ke atas roh arwah sahabatku, Muhammad Asyraf Aminuddin..

Rindu? Ya. Saya rindu. Rindu saya yang hari ini mendekatkan saya pada Pencipta saya. Terima kasih, asyraf. Pemergian kau bukanlah kosong semata-mata. Pemergian kau menyentuh hati-hati sahabatmu. dan terima kasih, Ya Allah atas peringatan buat diriku ini.

..SAHABATKU.. | Muhammad Asyraf Aminuddin | Asyraf | Dean | 'Si Man' saya | kini dalam kenangan yang bermakna |

**ini adalah entry ke-3 saya mengenai arwah kawan baik saya. saya peduli apa. ini diari saya :)

study week! :)

assalamualaikum, diari hijau saya :)

hari ni saya dihantar oleh kak athilia ke ktm Serdang. Alhamdulillah. syukur. tak perlulah saya naik turun bas lagi. alhamdulillah. segala task, assignments, presentation, semua da habes:) alhamdulillah..
dan sekarang......

saya tengah tunggu bas untuk balik ke kampung..! 

yeah!!!!!!!

tapi, tak tau  kenapa hari ni saya rasa sayu je. macam tak sedap hati. saya rasa macam ada sesuatu tak kene. saya bangun pagi tadi pukul 5.10 am, saya terus bersihkan diri dan berwuduk dan terus buat solat dua rakaat. (dah lama da saya terlepas solat 2 rakaat selepas subuh). saya rasa pelik sangat pagi tadi. lepas selesai solat dua rakaat, saya terus berdoa nangis2 supaya Allah izinkan saya, sempatkan saya untuk jumpa ummi dengan ayah saya lepas sem 3 ni. sebab tu saya beriya sangat nak balik. saya tak tahu kenapa. mungkin juga sebab saya masih lagi dalam mood sedih selepas kehilangan seorang kawan baik yang pergi secara mengejut. Ye. Alfatihah buat sahabat ku, Muhammad Asyraf Aminuddin. 

    Selepas pemergian arwah, hal-hal berkaitan kematian sentiasa berlegar-legar di minda saya. Betapa saya selalu memikirkan, bagaimana kah keadaan arwah asyraf pada malam sebelum arwah mengalami kemalangan pada pagi tu? bagaimanakah keadaan arwah 1 jam sebelum tibanya masa untuk arwah dijemput pulang menghadap si Pencipta.......? saya menangis. Ye. saya menangis setiap kali hati saya sesak memikirkannya. Saya memikirkan bagaimanakah pula apabila tiba masanya untuk giliran saya menghadap Dia.. adakah pada masa itu saya berada dalam keadaan yang mulia atau tengah melakukan dosa dan perkara sia-sia? Ya Allah, kurniakanlah daku husnul khatimah, pengakhiran yang baik, Ya Allah. :'(

........Pemergian arwah memberikan kesan mendalam dalam jiwa saya sebagai seorang anak muda yang bercita-cita tinggi dan mempunyai impian untuk hidup dengan cita-cita dan keinginan selama 60-70 tahun lagi. ya. Bagaimana arwah selalu berkongsi cerita dengan saya untuk berjaya dan membahagiakan ummi, abah nya, begitu jualah impian saya sebagai seorang anak, ingin membahagiakan ummi ayah selagi hayat mereka ada. tetapi jarang kita terfikir, kita nak bahagiakan mereka selagi hayat kita ada?

 kita boleh merancang, berimpian dan bermimpi seolah-olah kita akan hidup lama, tetapi ingatlah, ajal maut tidak mengira usia. Ya. Alhamdulillah. Pemergian arwah 100% menyedarkan saya bahawa masa saya dan kita semua juga tidak lama. Jadi, bersedialah. Hiduplah dengan persediaan untuk menghadapi kematian. Inshaallah. Hidup kita akan jadi lebih bermakna.

#saya cinta Pencipta dan Rasul saya#

# saya cinta ummi ayah saya #

# saya kasih saudara saya #

#saya rindu kawan baik saya.. Ya. Andalah. kawan baik saya.....#

Kuatlah, wahai hati !

hari ni hampir seminggu arwah kawan baik saya meninggal dunia. al fatihah, buat arwah asyraf.

di kala assignment yang banyak ni, hati saya tak menentu. 

dengan mood sedih saya yang tak hilang-hilang lagi.

saya sedih.

ya.

saya sedih sangat.

hinggalah satu hari, ummi saya cakap kat saya, 

"Esah kuat. Esah mesti boleh buat punya!"

alhamdullillah. terngiang-ngiang kata-kata ummi tu bila saya rasa saya tertekan sangat-sangat.

esah kuat! mesti boleh punya! tinggal sikit je lagi nii!

Ya, tinggal seminggu je lagi sebelum study week.

banyak sangat yang perlu saya selesaikan.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku.

tenangkan lah hatiku

***ok. sambung buat assignment Patologi tumbuhan : Cadang-cadang disease :)

270292-101212 : Al-fatihah buat sahabatku...

bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

assalamualaikum, korang. seperti biasa. saya nak bercerita dan meluahkan perasaan saya.

        Pada hari isnin tu, saya bangun lambat. dalam pukul 6.30 am. Saya tak tahu kenapa. Perut saya rasa senak sangat. Jadi selepas solat subuh, saya tidur semula dengan harapan perut saya akan ok dan saya boleh pergi ke kuliah Pertanian Lestari pada pukul 8 am. Malangnya,saya set jam pukul 7.06am, dan saya bangun pada waktu tersebut untuk bersiap, tetapi perut saya masih sakit. Jadi saya ambil keputusan untuk tak pergi kuliah pagi tu. Tiba-tiba pada pukul 8.30, saya dapat mesej daripada kawan saya (dia pergi kuliah pagi tu).......

dia    : Aishah, acap klate meninggal dunia dekat lebuh silikon upm tadi.
saya : asyraf acap ke? (batch kitorg banyak acap. yang bezanya nama ayah dan nama fb dorang)
dia  : ha'ah. acap yang orang kenen2kan dengan aishah tu (ok fine, kali ni memang tak kelakar perkataan kenen2 tu )
(maknanya macam padan-padankan...)
saya  : apa ni?? korang kat kuliah buat apa? macmne tau.....
.......................................................................................................

rupa-rupanya, rakan-rakan saya yang pergi kuliah pagi tu naik bas dan motor terserempak dengan mangsa kemalangan, tapi dorang tak berhenti sebab yelah, sapa sangka itu adalah kawan kita. lagi2 arwah masa tu berada dalam keadaan tertiarap.

terus saya dan seorang kawan bergegas mandi dan nak pergi sana tgok keadaan. masa tu saya percaya apa yang kawan saya cakap. tapi saya tak rasa apa2. saya tak menangis. saya pon pelik. tapi masa saya iron baju, saya marah2 dia. saya marah dia sebab lalu situ. saya ckap sorg2, kenapa lalu situ, asyraf. kenapa lalu situ.. kan da~~~~  teruknya saya pada masa tu.

Pukul 10, arwah ada di tempat kejadian lagi. Abang arwah pun da sampai dari Kajang. Polis pun ada. Kawan- kawan lelaki arwah ramai menanti di situ. Masih menunggu ambulans dan unit Forensik. Sungguh tak patut. Sangat lambat. Saya tak boleh menunggu. Saya ada kelas kul 10. Saya paksa diri saya pergi kelas. Dalam kelas, saya paksa diri saya untuk fokus. Setiap sangat saya rasa sakit. Sakitnya nak fokus. Hati saya bukan kat situ.

Habes kelas pukul 12, saya terus kol sorang kawan lelaki arwah yang tak masuk kuliah dan ikut pergi Hospital Serdang. Saya nekad. Saya nak tengok arwah. Saya minta kawan yang dekat wad post-mortem tu update dekat saya apa-apa pasal arwah. Alhamdulillah. Allah makbulkan doa saya. Arwah akan dimandikan dan di sembahyangkan di Masjid UPM pukul 2 nnti lepas post-mortem sebelum jenazah dibawa pulang ke Kelantan.

(kenapa saya beriya sangat nak jumpa arwah buat kali yang terakhir? nanti saya cerita...)

masa tu, ada kawan yang berat nak pergi sebab kami ada kuliah biokimia pukul 2. Tapi saya da nekad da, walaupun saya kene pergi sorang. Saya tetap nak pergi. (kenapa? nanti saya citer)

Alhamdulillah, jenazah sampai di Masjid UPM dalam pukul 2 kalau tak silap. Dimandikan. Dan pada hari tu, pertama kali dalam hidup saya melakukan solat jenazah. (Sepanjang tunggu jenazah sampai, saya dan beberapa kawan bertutorial solat jenazah dengan suara akak saya yang dirakam :) )

Habis sahaja solat jenazah, jenazah di bawa pulang ke Kelantan. Masa tu da pukul 4 da. Endingnya, kebumi pukul 1 pagi kalau tak silap.

ok. kenapa saya beriya sangat nak jumpa arwah buat kali terakhir. Saya nak tengok wajah dia buat kali terakhir. (Masa arwah masih terbaring, mayat telah ditutup dengan plastik hitam, jadi tak dapat tengok. ). Selain daripada arwah ialah seorang yang sangat baik dan peramah dengan semua orang, arwah juga ialah seorang yang saya kenal sebelum masuk UPM lagi.

................. Dan yang paling buat saya terkilan ialah, korang ingat tak dulu masa saya citer saya  eksiden dekat sini? Ya. Dan arwah juga eksiden di kawasan berhampiran saya eksiden. Korang tau tak, masa tu saya sedih sangat-sangat. Dialah yang tolong saya, datang ke klinik UPM untuk ambik kunci motor , patah balik ke kawasan kejadian dan uruskan motor yang saya tinggalkan kat tempat kejadian sebab ada staf antar kitorang pakai kereta. Dia tolong saya tanpa merungut walaupun waktu tu pukul 1.30 waktu dia berehat dan solat sebab ada kuliah pukul 2.

Lepas peristiwa saya eksiden tu, saya niat nak belanja arwah something sebagai tanda terima kasih. tapi selalu je tertangguh, selalu je tak ingat. Sampailah tiba hari arwah di panggil Ilahi. Masa tu saya doa, Ya Allah, Tolonglah beri saya peluang untuk membuat ehsan yang terakhir untuk sahabat saya. Saya nervous betul waktu tunggu jenazah. Saya takut saya kat tempat lain waktu jenazah sampai. Yelah, waktu saya eksiden, dia tolong bantu mudahkan urusan saya. tapi waktu dia eksiden, takkan saya nak berpeluk tubuh dan menangis je. saya kene buat sesuatu. dan alhamdulillah. apa yang mampu, solat jenazah untuk arwah. Ye. tu je yang memapu. tak sama dengan bantuan yang arwah pernah bagi kat saya..  :(

.... yang buat saya syahdu, status terakhir arwah dekat fb... masa mula2 arwah post, yang like cuma saya, arwah dan sorang kawan arwah... tapi, beberapa jam lepas arwah meninggal. ramai yang perasan akan post ni. 200++ likes. ni status last dia, sehari sebelum arwah meninggal.. (klik untuk saiz besar)

sorry tak crop print-screen ni.. uhuhu

status last dia sebenarnya biasa je. sebab dia selalu post pasal ummi dan abah dia. tapi, rupa-rupanya dia betul-betul rindu nak jumpa ummi dan abah dia dekat kelantan tu...

.... saya da hilang kawan untuk lawan pointer. Ya, sem satu saya kalahkan dia, sem dua, dia tinggi 0.005 daripada saya. Dia mengeluh. Katanya, CGPA (tambah keseluruhan) tetap tak boleh lawan saya. Saya sedapkan hati dia, saya cakap, xpelah, asyraf. kita ada 6 sem lagi untuk naikkan pointer kita.. tapi sekarang.. :(

.... kami pernah berbincang ramai2 nak pakat buat master sama2 dekat sini. tapi arwah mencelah. katanya, dia da penat kejar gred. da penat belajar ilmu akademik. cukuplah umur yang dia da habeskan untuk akademik. dia nak keje dan belajar ilmu agama... Ya Allah, tengoklah niat murni dia tu..

... arwah adalah seorang yang sangat bangga dengan tanah kelahirannya. Negeri Kelantan. Kalau ada saya atau kawan-kawan yang lain yang post pasal kelantan atau tuan guru Nik Aziz, dialah orang pertama yang akan komen dan sokong... tgoklah. dia penyokong kuat saya bila saya post pasal cita-cita saya nak buat rumah dekat Kelantan...  (klik untuk saiz besar)

0k. dia lambat 2minit daripada nik :')

.... dia sayangkan kelantan. saya tahu. dia selalu cerita. even masa dia meninggal, saya berdoa supaya di kebumikan di Kajang sbb saya rasa lagi dekat dan senang nak uruskan dan saya pun boleh ziarah, tak payah hantar jauh2. tapi Allah mudahkan urusan dia balik Kelantan. Tanah kelahiran yang dia sayang. Bersemadi di sana juga...

 .. Ya Allah.. banyak sangat kenangan...

******Semoga Allah tempatkan allahyarham Muhammad Asyraf bin Aminuddin bersama para syuhada' dan solihin...****

asyraf, aku doakan kau aman di sana. allah sayangkan kau. (sumber: fb arwah.arwah asyraf belah kanan sekali. yang muka tak bercat tu. kesemuanya adik-beradik arwah)

 al-fatihah..........................

*** Ya Allah, kurniakanlah juga kepada kami husnul khatimah, Ya Allah........

I am a stage manager?&# :3

laptop + tissues + festik script book +coconut sweet + mineral water 

= I got Flue!

try to even make a start of analysing the script of a theater

for koko : Stage Management

I don't know what on earth that bring me to this life....

A STAGE MANAGER life!

....................more tissues pulled from the box.................

EXHALE!

• got to go to sleep now. have to wake u early for a "DATE" at 4 am. A very lovely date. :) inshaallah.

Nephelium Mutabile :)

???????????????????????????????????????

it is Pulasan ! 

when it was a beginning of this semester, me, kak athi and dayah cycling to Ladang 2 to estimate how far it will be and how longer it takes if we decided to cycle to the class of Amalan Ladang : Pengeluaran Ternakan.

as we passed to the ex-faculty of Agriculture (now being used as a centre of english study for foreigner student)

we see unriped pulasan :)

as they cannot be eaten yet, we decided to come later !

as time passing by, it's about 2 month from our last visit.

I accompanied kak athi just now to  return the books to library.

and suddenly I remembered about the unriped pulasan and asked kak athi to go there.

who knows if we have a 'rezeki' there.

as we reached the place, we see a chinese guy(I think he really come from China as I can detect some different between them and Malaysian chinese )

he was happily plucking up the pulasan and eat them!

so, without any hesitation and after ensuring that it is 'line clear' to also pluck the pulasan up, we did it excitedly! hehe

actually they are still not ripe enough, but yet still can be eat.

and they are sweet and juicy! 

alhamdulillah. :)

source from google (I forgot to transfer the picture taken there in kak athi's smartphone .. huhu)

***not on the list : Hidayah Hassim. hehe

ALONE..............

Ya. 

Safely reached UPM one day earlier, 

but the bad thing is YOU HAVE TO SLEEP ALONE.

understand that? 

I repeat : ALONE. 

and I feel very lonely

the environment is very silent. 

no Vrooming or Laughing. 

just you and the sound of the rotating fan.

and ouh

forgot to mention to.

not to be left behind is 

the assignment.

the strong reason why I am one day earlier here. 

KOLEJ 12, UPM SERDANG. 

12.3O AM. 

time to sleep.

16th Oct 2012 :( al-Fatihah

............................al- Fatihah............................

our one and only left grandmother just passed away a few days ago.

may you'll be in peace, atok.

we miss you very much.

your grandchildren, Aishah :(

atok in the middle. in memory. raya 2009

a new semester :)

it's the 3rd semester of mine! :)

I can believe that just in a blink of eye, I'm now in my precious 3rd semester. (ok, sorry. actually it has been a month from the first day of my 3rd semester starting. only now I feel like writing down something on this so-called diary.)

so, what are the most important thing happened to me the whole month?

• it's my sister n her husband along with my beloved parents - ummi n ayah that sent me off to UPM !! yepppeeeyyy..! the reason is about my request to bring along our small rice cooker to hostel. so, it easier for me to cook on my own. (actually, it helps me save my budget :) I put rm1 to my coin boxes whenever I cook a pot of rice. hehe)

• my result of second semester.. it's 0.005 declining from the previous one. so, what's the PNG? *feel free to calculate it on your own. haha

• my parents gave me a green light to buy a new bicycle! and it is the new one grey bicycle :)

•  me and my friend are planned to run a business. ya~ its only a small business. at least it is the start of something new. and actually the most important thing is at least we gain some money. (not only spending it off. hehe) *actually it is because my friends are excitedly planning to buy a tablet! and made-in-china one also will do :)

•  I got news from my ummi: '' our rabbit got a  few new born baby. '' you know, it's not only from one mother. but one by one mother gave birth just a few days interval ! and it come from one father of rabbit. (because this year, we slaughtered 4 male rabbit and left all the female one, as we afraid of maybe the females got babies in their stomach. and the big mistake is my mother requested of leaving only one male as she felt that it was pitiful for leaving all females. animal got their natural love feeling too. and at the end it turn like this :  WE GOT A LOT OF NEW BORN RABBIT'S BABIES. and it must be awesome! can't wait to see them very soon-on my haj holiday!)
• ..........waiting for the day of haj holiday... hehe

feeling very sad.. :'(

crying crazily

hoping for someone to change his attitude. But then I realized that, it is under my control. 

maybe what I always do is giving advice, 

remind he

that he should change her attitude for our family

but

again and again

I feel nothing

I couldn't see any changes

I feel very sad

everything was very bad

I miss my family

• don't get me wrong.  'He' in this entry is my mahram. 
• I feel very very super duper sad.
• but then I know, what else can I do is keep praying for something good to appear.
• don't be sad anymore , Aishah sayang.. Innallaha Ma'ana :)
• and, suddenly, I remember what one of my good sifu always told us ages before :
  

  ' We can't contol what can't control. But we can control what we can control. So, focus on what we can control to' : ustaz al sufi (2008)

  nahhh~ don't forget, we are only the creature, not the Creator. so, whenever we feel that something doesn't seem to improve or change, keep praying for Allah's help as He is the one whose everything is under His control. Wallahualam..
  
  so, Aishah. stop crying. Focusing on your another 6 paper.
  Dean's List this sem, huh? InshaAllah :)
  
  
  
  sayang ummi, ayah, akak, abang khairul, abang, and toha. :')
  
  

a field trip of soil science :)

alhamdulillah. We are safely reached UPM at 2.30pm just now.

A trip to Morib, Banting was just an ordinary trip but it was kind of awesome relaxing trip and a kind of trip that refreshing our spirit and mind. :)

Next time I will update more about this trip.

m00d : try to keep smiling in front of a bundle of assignments, presentation, and laboratory reports.

0 Allah, please give me the strength to patiently do my works.

Just now, I heard my friend said that how precious the time is for her now as we have to submit all the assignments and a lot of laboratory reports this 13th week of the second semester.

and.. It is not how it is precious for her, it is for me too. T_T

tik tok tik tok

ever feel like time stopped ?

today, I felt it..! :)

I don't know how to describe that feeling. It was awesome. :)

However, the truth is time will never stop just for a while unless the day of your 'ajal' have come to. Wallahu'alam......
But, you know, Allah knows best for us.
So, stop thinking and let Allah manage and set it for us.

Trust Allah for He knows well enough what best for us. :)

''Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.''
An-Nur : 26

an-Nur : 26

O Allah, please guide me to be good muslimah and a good 'umi' to the next generation of the Prophet of Muhammad's mankind.

this is another kind of 'time stopped' by Don Gillmor.. hehehe

so, if you think like time stopped, just slap your face and say :


Time will never stop, yaw.. hehe.. :)


and you, my bestfriend, welcome home after long holiday. 


See you tomorrow with a lot of story. :)

Alahamdulillah.. :)

alhamdulillah.  What else I can say whenever I prayed for only passed the test, but Allah did give me better that that. It's not just better, it's much better then I ever expected.

** Actually, today, we got a result of Statistic 2nd test. It is really scary as we ever heard another group got scolded by our statistic lecturer until some of them cried.

as we are waiting for the lecturer to come in, I did read alfatihah for a few times as advised by my friend that 'sadaqah' alfatihah to the person that you're scary to meet with, could ease you in meeting them.

and, it's undescribed feeling when seeing my test result with the unexpected mark and some motivational words from my lecturer on that exam paper. And it sounds like this ..

"" Good ,Siti Aishah.Keep it up! ''

 what a good day today. :)

Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah. :)
and this is my face today.

good job, aishah ! keep it up..!

however, there is some of my friends was looking at me with this kind of face when our lecturer gave them the exam paper with th result....

aishah, i did so many careless mistakeS...

I don't know what is the best word to calm them. The only thing I could say is....

Just be patient, dear friend. There must be a good thing beyond it.

and I agreed with my one of the friend. She said, those who failed in this 2nd exam of statistic was maybe a very busy person involving in so many college activity. So, we must be positive towards them. :)

and .. once again, Aishah..! keep it up..! A is for Allah :)

Insha Allah... :)

A Trip to Felda Palong Timur 4 & 5 :)

Alhamdulillah. Safely reached UPM at 8.30 pm. :)
A trip to Palong actually was a trip for Agriculture students that take subject - Field Practices: Plantation Crop.

What can I say is - that trip was AWESOME !

Later on I will update a little bit more deep about that trip with all the nice pictures taken there.

ok! got to go. Wanna sleep :)

Allah loves Us :)

Alhamdulillah. Today actually something happened to us. Me and my bestfriend.

What is it ?

It's a kind of experience of facing a pain patiently after a long time.
It's a kind of experience of seeing who actually always be next to you through your ups and down.
It's a kind of experience of showing our love as a friend to each other.
It's a kind of experience of improving our relationship.
It's a kind of experience of waiting who will Allah send to help you.

... and to my bestfriend. I just want you to know that our friendship, Inshaallah will always be a great thing in my heart.

*** Don't ever give up, dear friend. If we fell today, it doesn't mean that we will always lie on the ground.
Get well soon, dear friend. I will always pray for you.!

Master Oogway (Kung fu Panda) : " Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. But today is a gift."

.... and we thanked Allah for this 'gift'- still letting us breath and give us a one more chance to live in this 'fana' world at least to make some preparation. Ya. Death is cannot expected. Young or old.

So, always bear in mind to appreciate this kind of Gift.

Alhamdulillah. Thanks , Allah. :)

What always make me think of

Yesterday around 7.15 pm, I went back from 'kenegaraan' lecture by bus. Along the road, we could see a few football field. And at that moment, I could see there still a lot of people were playing football and some other games. You know what exactly cross my mind ? Do they noticed that it is already the time for maghrib prayer and they act like .....
'let's play for some more time.. maghrib ? it's not midnight ..'

I am very sad to see this kind of phenomenon. If this kind of people become a leader of this peaceful country or even a leader of a muslim family of their own, what will be happen to the next next muslim generation ?
I am very sure that 99% of them whom I saw yesterday are muslim. And a muslim should have their own disciplined in this kind of matter. A matter of 'ibadah' . A matter of showing at least their respect towards Allah's order.

Please, I beg you, this is not a small matter to look into with. A muslim nowadays is a picture of how our next muslim of the country will be. And as a future mother of the next generation of Muhammad saw's mankind, I definitely couldn't  bear to see my future little caliph living around this kind of today's muslim generation.




Could you, muslim guys, bear to destroy these next muslim children's bright future of being a good muslim ? They deserve to live in Islamic environment as what our prophet saw suggested to.

 O muslim, let's change !

If we don't start to build a good islamic environment for them now, then who will be responsible to ?

ayah's kidstory ^^

Suddenly a story about ayah's kid life come across my mind when seeing this kind of islamic cartoon. 

 

yayahstory.blogspot.com

 the story begins....

 

ayah : masa kecik2 dlu ada sekor anjing termasuk dalam parit besar yang takde air. budak2 sekolah pakat2 baling anjing tu dengan batu. kesian ayah tengok anjing tu.
esah : habes tu ayah buat apa ?
ayah : masa tu ayah kecik sangat. ayah tengok jelah. pastu pergi tempat lain. tak sampai hati nak tengok anjing tu berdarah2.
 

**dear parents, please give a good explaination when your children are asking you about dog, pig and ect. dont just answer them with typical word like 'oh, haram tu. jgan dekat', 'najis2...'. it will let them treat all those kind of creature like that. please..
 

..: : every God's creation have their own place in this world. 

(Prof Dr Rosli Mohamad,UPM) :)

 so, love them as you want to be love to :)

On The Way Home! :)

assalamualaikum wbt..
IT'S MIDSEM BREAK..!
Finally, today I will be home. Alhamdulillah. I will be on my way to Johor at 4pm.
I feel very excited. Speechless. Undescribed feeling! There are too any things I wanted to see at home. The first thing is definitely my ummi and ayah,comes my adik,akak and abang.

a happy family

The second thing is our new comer of the year!

Putih's kid enjoying mama's milk :)

Putih's kid is sleeping. Can you notice that no one of Putih's kid got her colour of fur. They are all black,like her father. hehe

They are Kelabu's kid in their place of birth. Ayah said Kelabu's prepare for them herself. How amazing she is! (except the blue cloth,that is prepared by my ummi. :))

The second thing is I want to see the cucumber that was growing itself independently without being planted by anybody. Maybe because of the 'rojak' !

cucumber in our gate growing independently.

And the last thing is I wanted to see a person who did this to my ayah's car. Adik oh Adik~hehe. next time please be more careful driving the car. Especially when driving for Subuh prayer at the mosque.

Pity Ayah. He need to recover this back immediately.

and the most beautiful thing is I am going to Bukit Jalil to see my Abang who study in Sri Petaling. He is in his final year! We promised to meet at stadium and having a lunch together . Abang said he want to eat Gear box soup. OMA..! and I am the most beautiful Adik in the world that said,'It's ok,I will pay for you'..hehe

thanks mr google ^^

And the last thing, 0 Allah, please let me through all those thing smoothly under your rahmah. If you test me, please guide me to pass it. Amin. May my journey will be blessed by Him. Allah, please watch me on my every step. Amin, Ya Rabb.

^^ Johor oh Johor ^^

A Lesson

Today i got  crop physiology test at 10 in the morning. At 8 am, actually I have to attend weed science class. However, I studied until late in the midnight and got headache . I missed the class. I felt very sad at that time. Some of the classmate in weed science's kept asking me. What happened,aishah? I don't know what was the appropriate word to answer them best. Maybe some people would ever think that I intentionally skip the class just because I need to finish studying for physiology. Yeah, I am sure that it will come across their mind as a human being. That was not their fault to think of that way.
 Okay, actually that is the introduction on what exactly I want to share in this my so-called diary. At 9.40++ am, I got a message from one of my best course mate. Actually she is a very kind person to everyone.

This is what her message sounds like :

*** salam aishah. kenapa tak datang kelas? aishah tak sihat ke..?

and I replied:

*** salam , athirah(not the real name).. mintak maaflah. saya sakit kepala. duk study fisio smpai lewat.saya rasa bersalah sangat.

and then, she replied with not a simple message but such a quote one and really motivating. And it sound like this :

***Rahsia kejayaan bukan dengan banyaknya membaca, kerapnya berbincang dan kuatnya ingatan..
Tetapi kejayaan yang sebenar datang bila kamu meletakkan 100% keyakinan dan imanmu pada Allah Yang Satu kerana Dialah pemilik ilmu itu...
Inshaallah semoga dipermudahkan.

(The secret of a success not with how much you read, how often you have discussion, and how strong your memory is. But the real success comes when you put 100% trust and faith in Allah for He is the Owner of that knowledge.
Inshaallah,may everything going smoothly.)

.......That message really make me realized that I should not do that. For grabbing a very good result in physiology test, I tend to ignore a very important class. Yes, it is only a class. Test seems to be very important but the obvious differences between me and my friends(who attend the class) is I did'nt get the knowledge I supposed to get directly from the lecturer. And I am very sure my action was not be blessed by Allah. Just for the sake of a very good result, I studied until late in midnight and miss the class because of the headache. O Allah , please forgive me for what have I done :(

And today, I got a very meaningful lesson.

• I should have not miss any class anymore as what I did today.
• Don't and never ever again make a very last minute preparation in revising for every subject.
• Let's tawakal and give our trust to Allah as He know what best for us.
• Today, I realized that I have friends that really care about me. Curious to know what actually happened to me. Worrying if something bad happened to me. O Allah, thanks for giving me this kind of beautiful gift : F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P and U.K.H.W.A.H.
• Last but not least...Aishah, let be positive on every mehnah and tribulation that Allah gave you. :)

May tomorrow comes with a good thing and beautiful rainbow. :)

Heart..? @_@

At the time i wrote this entry,tomorrow is the day of statistic's test. Ya Allah,and I don't even finished revise all of the topic that covered the test. T.T huhu..and now,is the time between maghrib and isyak.

I don't know why, I feel lost. My heart feel empty. I know why that happen. The reason is,maybe it is all about my relationship with my Creator. O Allah,forgive me. My friend started to tease me with few boys name. These boys are all my friends. I know,my friends were just joking. To see me smile. To see me feel shy and i appreciate that. Then I would say that I have no feeling towards them. However,how long can i stand to avoid any weird feeling to get into my heart? it is very undeniable for my heart itself to feel nothing with their teasing. It is not easy to take a good care of a heart. It is seriously very difficult.  InshaAllah,from now on,i will never be compromised with their word.I will avoid myself from doing anything that could give them way to that anymore. Yes,it start with me. I should be more careful next time.

**I went to Ustaz Hasrizal's website and i found THIS . Whenever Darwin got his 'Evolution Theory', Ustaz Hasrizal also got his a very touched 'Love Evolution Theory' and this kind of theory is the real and more practical one compared with Darwin's. And it touched my heart and giving me motivation to refresh my iman . **

___: according to this kind of dilemma , i did 'unfriend' a few friends in facebook to make sure i could have at least some time to re-treat my heart. It doesn't mean our ukhwah is over. It just a start of something new. A new heart of Aishah ^^ and to that 'friend', I will add you as a friend again ! :)

HOME vs. HOSTEL

Ok...assalamualaikum to aishah and her this so-called diary :)
alhamdulillah..i just went through my holiday for first sem at home nicely...and it was so wonderful..

1)staying at home..
2)hugging my ummi almost in every moment i wanted to do so..until sometime my ummi just like to give me a spontaneous response like this : ish budak ni..xde keje lain....
3)asked ummi to prepare me my favourite dishes..hehe...
4)helped ummi to clean her huge rabbit's cage..OMA..their pee n poo somehow make me feel bored..but whenever i'm in the mood,i love to do this kind of work ;p
5)help ummi to manage her garden...a nice garden with a lot of puding types,u know...it seriously  A LOT..! 
6)a small and funny fight with my father.. O ayah! i miss u like crazy ;(
...... : and the list goes on : ...

however.. i have to admit that i am too weak n quite helpless to cope with the downside of staying at home too long..

1) lost and intentionally violate my full n disciplined schedule as a hostel girl~~~
2)sleep too early....yaa~~i manage to sleep at 8pm =)and it mess my parents =='
3)never remember my projects,assignment and everything to do with this kind of word--->S.T.U.D.E.N.T..hehe
.....and the list keep moving on in its track......

however (again)..i may stumble across a weird and childish fact that being at home always make me a hectic girl...giving me a hectic lifestyle... i wake up in the early morning and the lists of 'homework' is waiting for me..! =p

it is a wonderful moment to see my ummi n ayah smile whenever they satisfied with my work. but i know,i have to improve..! yes..improving myself with the sense of insecurity to be in my position;a daughter to the parents that hope to see me succeeded in my life in the world and afterwards,a student of agriculture that aims to be a useful one to the mankind, and a very weak and helpless creation to the ONE and ONLY Creator that always with me even though sometimes I tend to forget Him whenever my Iman goes downward..however,He always there to remind me certainly with His own unique ways...thanks Allah..Alhamdulillah...

****I just realised that no people can live without the sense of insecurity. It is a fundamental of improving and developing yourself rather than what you were yesterday.****

....:: and here I am,sitting on my own chair,in my own room,in the so-called KOLEJ 12 of UPM,promise myself to be a better daughter,a better student,and a better mankind ::....







mood : improving myself in the newly beginning semester :)




note 1 : thanks Allah for the beautiful chance in continuing my study in UPM.
note 2 : thanks Allah for the '3.6' in my first semester. it is never be in my expectation. then,i realised nothing is impossible as long as u lay your trust on Allah. Keep moving forward for the Dean's List of UPM,aishah..! Allah is always with you!!!waiting for me,mr.3.75 aka mr DEAN... I will definitely approach you together with Allah.

^^^^new semester....new spirit..^^^^

ummi =) i love you...

ok...firstly nak buat pengumuman..perasaan tak entry sebelum ni saya gunakan aku..??ye..kalau korang tak perasan jugak,saya tetap nak bercerita..haha....entry sebelum ni saya bahasakan diri saya aku as they,that entries (2 jer kot..hehe)..adalah untuk kawan2 saya yang saya gunakan kata ganti diri pertama =aku..maybe sebab kitaorg da lama kenal kot...then,this entry is for me..according to my previous entry,i've lost my laptop..means that,i lost my precious diary...tiada galang ganti..that's why saya sangat serik dan membuat blog sebagai diary saya sendiri..fullstop..haha..ini hanya selingan...tak masuk tajuk lagi...

ok...sebenarnya..diwaktu dan ketika ini saya tgah menduduki final exam untuk semester pertama..dan sewaktu dulu..haha...macam lama sangat jer...ok2..sewaktu kat matrik dulu,masa tengah 'study week'..saya dan kawan baik saya berpuasa setiap hari sehinggalah kami final exam..maka apabila tiba musim final exam di universiti plak,saya cuba...pada minggu pertama,success..! sy berjaya puasa smbil belajar n menghadapi peperiksaan...tapi~~~

tetiba masalah melanda~~haiiisssshhhh,....kenapa saya rasakan selera makan saya bertambah teruk..saya terbayang macam2....kek yang cantik..laksam ummi saya yang sedap...laksa johor..laksa penang...dan yang paling teruk...WAJIK...yer..!! wajik pon masuk dalam list..jadi untuk sapa2 yang da lupa wajik tu apa bendanye..??sejenis minuman kah...hehe..inilah dia beberapa bentuk wajik yang saya dapat cari dari mr.google..credit to him =)

OK..ni wajik versi belum potong punya...nyum2..=)

ini pulak versi dalam tupperware..wah..ini lagi menggiurkan..=.='

dan ini pula versi untuk buat barang hantaran...sweet kan..??? nanti kalau majlis saya,saya nak call lah orang yang offer service ni...hehe

jadinya,saya pon telefon akak untuk mengadu masalah...

akak kata : 'normal lah tu..kau kan tgah nak exam..banyak fikir..jadi tenaga yang digunakan sangat banyak'

tapi,tahukah anda wahai akak bahawa kali ni selera saya extraordinary sikit...selain mengadu,saya sempat juga mengutarakan ke-megidam-an saya terhadap wajik...macam ni akak respon..

''aduh kau ni.....wajik pulak...mana nak carik...susahlah...kau suruhlah ummi buat...memang susah nak carik jual kat mana2....''

itu jelah modal seorang akak yang terlalu sayangkan adiknya .. =.='

lalu,keesokan harinya si adik menelefon ummi tersayang...mengadu masalah yang menimpa diri...macam ni plak ummi menjawab;



'kau suruhlah akak beli...muar kan dekat ngan melaka...mesti ade jual punya...'
ah,sudah~ mcm tu plak umi respon...macam main baling2 bola jer ngan akak...tetapi berbekalkan title anak kesayangan..hehe,,..saya pon terus memujuk..

'alah,mi..akak kata susah nak carik..ummi kan pandai masak...tlonglah ea...hehehe'

umi said ; hmmm..yelah2..nanti kita buat...

hooorayyy...opss..alhamdulillah..selain itu,saya xlupa mengadu berkenaan juadah-juadah lain yang sering bermain di kepala...hehe....ummi kata :

'eh budak ni...belom balik lagi dah bagi aku kerja...'

hehe..ummi2, i love you so much...


p/s ; mesti anda sekalian da tau kan yang wajik ni kita jumpa waktu majlis kawen n seangkatan dengannya sahaja..jadi bila saya teringin nak makan wajik,oh~~mengalahkan orang yang tengah pregnant sahaja..huhuhu....and in addition,waktu kenduri sekarang da jarang yang teramat untuk merasai kehadiran wajik..**zaman saya kecik2 dulu,wajik bungkus kecik guna pembalut hamper warna oren..,saiz macam batu seremban tu..hehe..kan3..??

wajik oh wajik ^^